9/1(Tue) Six Great Reasons to Never Have Children(H:Wendy)

9/1(Tue) Six Great Reasons to Never Have Children(H:Wendy)

由 Michael-liu » 週六 8月 29, 2015 12:07 am

注意事項：
1. 與會者請自行列印 Questions for discussion。

Six Great Reasons to Never Have Children
by Ellen Walker Ph.D. ( who is a clinical psychologist and the author of Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living By Choice Or By Chance.) 

Most of us childfree adults are used to being asked why we didn’t have kids, but have you ever asked a parent to explain why he or she did? It’s simply not considered polite. As I’ve contemplated writing this blog over the past few days, I actually considered coming right out to parents with the question, but then I realized just how personal and intrusive it would be. Plus, I might be given some of the reasons described below, which in my personal and professional opinion are not legitimate reasons for having a child. Take a look below to see my list of great reasons to not have a child. 

I want to have a constant companion: Children are not a means to friendship. I’ve met too many kids whose parents are lonely or otherwise struggling as well as parents who’ve used their child as a sounding board and companion. Children need to have a parent figure that is focused on giving them the tools they will need as an adult rather than someone who’s seeking a playmate or talk therapist. 

I want to continue the bloodline/name: Who do these folks think they are to imagine that somehow their genes are so superior that we need to keep them around. If we as a society were to decide that only the brightest and best should survive (as Hitler did), we’d likely not be choosing the folks who make these kinds of insane comments. And regarding names, most women lose their maiden name at marriage and don’t get a bit of sympathy for their loss.

I might get pregnant by accident: Over half of all pregnancies in the US are unplanned, a figure that’s astounding considering the access to birth control these days. Getting pregnant with no thought of how this will impact the child is one of the most selfish acts a person can take. These parents are bringing a child into the world with less than a year to ensure that their environment will be emotionally, situationally, and financially stable. We typically spend more time deciding if and where we’ll go to college, what we’ll do for a career, and if we should marry a particular person we’re dating.

I think it will improve my marriage: Wrong, wrong, wrong—marital satisfaction rates actually plummet after the birth of the first child. So, if a couple has the idea that a baby will bring them closer, think again. A child results in less sleep, less sex, less time for the couple to spend together, less money, and less time for friends and hobbies. 

It’s what everyone else is doing (or that’s what you do after you grow up. It’s a natural part of being an adult): If all your friends were jumping off of a cliff, would you join along? The decision of whether or not to have a child is the most important one of our life, and thus parenthood shouldn’t be entered into casually. As with other big life decisions, such as whether or not to continue with school following high school, the path most often taken is not the one for everyone.

So, given all the reasons to not have a child, what are legitimate reasons to have a child? Perhaps the only valid reason to become a parent is that a person truly enjoys nurturing and mentoring and views the huge task and responsibility of being a mother or father to be something that will give them joy and that they feel they will do well with. If all parents who chose childrearing did so with this outlook, then those of us who chose to not have kids would have a much more supportive attitude towards them. 

Session 1 

1. Have your parents ever given you the pressure of having children? If yes, what was your response to your parents? 
2. If you want to have children (or you have already), what are your reasons to have? If you don't want to, what are your reasons not to have? 
3. In addition to the reasons mentioned in the article, what other good reasons can you think of for not having kids?

Session 2 

1. Have your parents ever said something like this to you " I have spent all my life and much money on bringing you up, I have sacrificed a lot for you, so you should do...........for me" Is it sensible for parents to say that to children? What would you respond to them? 
2. Almost all of parents would expect something from their kids. ( to name a few, expect kids to be successful,to be good-looking, to be obedient, to be 孝順, to keep them company when they are old) If you have kids, what will be your expectation to them? (be honest, don't say just want them to be healthy) 


********************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期：列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間：當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期二聚會地點：丹堤濟南店 
地址、電話：台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站：板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法：出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後，沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘，到了濟南路口，左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費： 80 元


注意事項：
1. 與會者請自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請務必先看過文章，並仔細想過所有的問題，謝謝合作！

給新朋友的話：
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹；會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題，並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行，參加者應具備中等英語會話能力，對任一討論問題，能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前，可以先來觀摩三次，觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。

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08/25（Tue）How to escape education's death valley（Host：Toshi）

Please click the following forum for article:

http://yoyo.club.tw/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3988&sid=a884ee8d3bb7a94857ee945b47b17ec9

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8/22 (Sat.) The Makeup Tax (Host: Stephen)

8/22 (Sat.) The Makeup Tax (Host: Stephen)

由 stephen185 » 週六 8月 15, 2015 10:02 am

(http://www.theatlantic.com/business/arc ... ax/400478/)

On July 20, Hillary Clinton conducted a Q&A session on Facebook, and Facebook staffer Libby Brittain posed an unusual Q to her:
“Every morning, as my boyfriend zips out the door and I spend 30+ minutes getting ready, I wonder about how the ‘hair-and-makeup tax’ affects other women—especially ones I admire in high-pressure, public-facing jobs,” Brittain wrote. “I know these questions can seem fluffy, but as a young professional woman, I’d genuinely love to hear about how you manage getting ready each morning (especially during your time traveling as Secretary of State and now on the campaign trail) while staying focused on the ‘real’ work ahead of you that day.” “Amen, sister,” Clinton responded, because she’s relatable. “You’re preaching to the choir. It’s a daily challenge. I do the best I can—and as you may have noticed, some days are better than others!” 

It’s too bad Clinton punted. The “makeup tax” Brittain mentioned is very real. Women invest time and money into doing their makeup because it impacts their relationships and their paychecks. And while both genders tend to buy haircuts, shaving cream, and moisturizer, the price of makeup is something men never have to worry about. The cosmetics industry makes $60 billion each year. The personal-finance site Mint claims the average woman will spend $15,000 on the stuff in her lifetime. It also costs time. My weekday morning makeup routine takes 10 minutes. That’s roughly an hour per week, or two full days per year. Last year, the Today show pegged this number even higher, at two weeks per year per woman.

I’ll pause now to address the most common response when this issue comes up: “Just don’t wear makeup!” It’s true that some women never wear makeup for various reasons. Some look better without it than others do. Some object on principle, or prefer to maintain a vaguely earthy-crunchy vibe. Others simply don’t have the time, can’t afford it, or have jobs that don’t involve interacting with others. But for many of us, showing up at the office or a bar without at least a swipe of blush and some mascara results in a day spent being asked if we have the flu. Amy Schumer nailed this phenomenon in her perfectly titled sketch, “Girl, You Don’t Need Makeup.” Its takeaway: The “just free yourself from makeup!” crowd, particularly its male contingent, has no idea how makeup-wearers look after they wipe it all off.

Most women wear at least some makeup, some of the time. The polls around cosmetic use are notoriously bad—they’re often sponsored by beauty companies—but they’ve reported that between 50 and 80 percent of women use it at least occasionally. (According to another survey, though, two-thirds of women wear fewer than three products daily.) When University of New Hampshire student Ann Marie Britton surveyed 137 of her classmates for a thesis in 2012, at least half of respondents said they were “likely” or “very likely” to wear makeup to class, work, a job interview, to socialize, or on a date. “Mascara was used in almost all situations,” she found. But more importantly, women on TV wear it. Many of our moms wore it, as did our elementary-school teachers. Magazines bombard girls with tips on “looking flawless.” That’s just how women look, in the collective mind’s eye: With unnaturally shiny lips and dark eyes.

For men, the closest analogy to being stuck without makeup, for women who usually wear it, is being forced to wear a stained shirt to a meeting. It’s probably fine to run errands in a shirt with dribble of barbecue sauce down the front. (There’s even a country song about it!) But if a man were to arrive at work for an important meeting, having somehow forgotten that his shirt was stained, and finding himself without an emergency clean shirt to don, he’d probably feel deeply uncomfortable. I feel roughly the same way about my five most essential tubes of face-goo.

Makeup, in short, is a norm, and nothing ruins a first impression like a norm violation. Some women contend they only wear makeup to “boost their confidence,” but the reason they feel less confident when they don’t wear it is that there’s an expectation they will. Makeup works by enhancing facial contrast—the color difference between your lips and nose, for example. Facial contrast is closely associated with femininity, and femininity with female beauty, in Western cultures. In a study I reported on last year, both male and female participants thought “regular” women looked best when they applied a moderate amount of makeup. Another study found that subtle makeup made women seem more competent, likable, and attractive. Years of research has shown that attractive people earn more. Thus, the makeup tax: Good-looking men and good-looking women both get ahead, but men aren't expected to wear makeup in order to look good. It gets worse. One study found that participants were more likely to award “prestigious jobs” to women who were made up than to the same women when their faces were unadorned. Male (but not female) restaurant patrons tip more when female waitresses wear makeup.

I know, it’s terrible! I did not make the rules! Throw not your Bobbi Brown eye pencil in my general direction; tweet not your angry tweet at my difficult-to-spell username. In fact, “don't shoot the messenger” seems to be the general attitude among researchers who study the economic effects of cosmetics. “I wish society didn’t reward this,” Daniel Hamermesh, an economics professor at the University of Texas at Austin, told The New York Times. “I think we’d be a fairer world if beauty were not rewarded, but it is.”

So, what can be done about it? Workplace policies that allow employees to work from home, where their facial-contrast levels are judged only by their cats, could be an immediate help. So could including more bare-faced women in TV shows and magazine spreads. For more enduring change, women could just stop wearing makeup. But unless we all did it in unison, it’s likely that the holdouts would continue to reap benefits while the au naturel protesters would continue to field questions about their thyroid health from strangers. Or, the country’s only serious female presidential contender could, when asked, speak out against appearance discrimination and gender bias—something she herself has very publicly faced. That kind of response could help change the makeup norm, sister.

******************************************************************************************************************************************** 
Questions 
Session I:
1. What's your vocation? Do most of your colleagues wear makeup? Do you agree that there are implicit rules for looking "put together"(normative beauty) for different industries?
2. Some always wear makeup when they go out. Do you think that they wear makeup to meet general social expectations (a kind of manner) or because of vanity to a certain degree? Do you agree that this make up tax is partially self imposed by women on women?
3. Does wearing makeup promote inequality of treatment in the workplace? Do you consider that makeup is a reflection of appearance discrimination?

Session II
4. Is there any correlation between self-esteem and individual's cosmetic usage and particular habits? Does makeup empower women or it could be detrimental to their self-esteem instead?
5. There seems a trend that female athletes attend track and field events wearing makeup. I also noticed that the members of Korean female volleyball team were all made up when playing games. Do you think that wearing makeup can boost their confidence? Will they perform not as well if being asked not to wear makeup?
6. How do you see the rising movement of male make up? For girls, can you accept that your boy friend or husband wearing makeup? For boys, do you have any makeup experience? Will you try putting on makeup if it makes you look younger or vigorous when you haven't slept well? 
(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/1 ... 67482.html)
******************************************************************************************************************************************** 
Agenda:
3:45 ~ 4:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
4:00 ~ 4:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping 
(Session I) 
4:10 ~ 4:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins) 
4:50 ~ 5:10pm Summarization (20 mins) 
5:10 ~ 5:15pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission) 
(Session II) 
5:15 ~ 5:55pm Discussion Session (40 mins) 
6:00 ~ 6:20pm Summarization (20 mins) 
6:20 ~ 6:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ******************************************************************************************************************************************** 
聚會日期：列於該貼文主題內 
聚會時間：請準時 4:00 pm 到 ~ 約 6:30 pm 左右結束 
星期六聚會地點：丹堤濟南店 
地址、電話：台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350 
捷運站：板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口 
走法：出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後，沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘，到了濟南路口，左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。 
最低消費： 80 元


注意事項： 
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌，但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。 
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章，並仔細想過所有的問題，謝謝合作！


給新朋友的話： 
1. 請事先準備2~3分鐘的英語自我介紹；會議結束前可能會請你發表1~2分鐘的感想。 
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題，並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行，參加者應具備中等英語會話能力，對任一討論問題，能夠以5到10句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前，可以先來觀摩三次，觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。

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8/15 (Sat.) The Language of Lying (Host: Sherry)

Please click the following link:

http://yoyo.club.tw/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3981&sid=edb0e1cd96f43bf45a21ebb6ddef9586

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8/8 Saturday meetimg cancelled due to typhoon

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8/4(Tue.) 1.Dust Explosion 2.Same Sex Marriage(H:Michael)

Session 1 Water Park Inferno

The suspected dust explosion at the Formosa Fun Coast (八仙海岸) water park in New Taipei City’s Bali District (八里) on Saturday evening, that injured nearly 500 people, mostly in their teens and 20s, has left many parents distraught and heartbroken. 

Horrifying amateur video footage showed crowds of young revelers, some dressed in swimwear, dancing in front of a stage and cheering as clouds of green and yellow powder covered them, only for their joy to turn to terror when the powder suddenly erupted into flames, engulfing them in an inferno as they ran screaming for their lives.

Witnesses described the scene at the water park as “hell” when the fireball ripped through the crowd.
“Everyone was screaming and there was blood everywhere. The waterway [used for inflatable boat rides] was filled with blood because everyone was dipping themselves in it,” as they attempted to soothe their burns, said a young man who witnessed the tragedy.
“I saw lots of people whose skin was gone,” another witness said.
“It started on the left side of the stage. At the beginning, I thought it was part of the special effects, but then I realized there was something wrong when people started screaming and running,” a male witness said.
Ambulances struggled to reach the scene and victims were carried away on rubber rings and inflatable dinghies as friends desperately tried to get them help.
Bystanders poured bottles of water on the scorched skin of the injured and trails of bloody footprints could be seen leading away from the stage.

Questions

1.Before this 八仙 Water Park Inferno happened, were you aware that dust can cause explosion? Some people said this is a common sense. Do you agree? 
2.Who do you think should be held the most accountability for this dust explosion tragedy? Event Organizer? Water Park Owner? Government? 
3.What lesson do you learn from this tragedy? 

Session 2 Same Sex Marriage 

Washington (CNN) In a historic 5-4 ruling, the Supreme Court of the United States struck down same-sex marriage bans across the country.

Justice Anthony Kennedy voted to affirm that same-sex marriage is a right along with the other four liberal justices and read the Court's opinion.
Here are some highlights from the Court's opinion: 

1."No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than they once were."

2."The nature of marriage is that, through its enduring bond, two persons together can find other freedoms, such as expression, intimacy, and spirituality. This is true for all persons, whatever their sexual orientation."

3."It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization's oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right” 

4."The right of same-sex couples to marry that is part of the liberty promised by the Fourteenth Amendment is derived, too, from that Amendment's guarantee of the equal protection of the laws." 

5."A third basis for protecting the right to marry is that it safeguards children and families and thus draws meaning from related rights of childrearing, procreation, and education."

6."As all parties agree, many same-sex couples provide loving and nurturing homes to their children, whether biological or adopted. And hundreds of thousands of children are presently being raised by such couples."

7."Without the recognition, stability, and predictability marriage offers, their children suffer the stigma of knowing their families are somehow lesser. They also suffer the significant material costs of being raised by unmarried parents, relegated through no fault of their own to a more difficult and uncertain family life. The marriage laws at issue here thus harm and humiliate the children of same-sex couples."

8. "This does not mean that the right to marry is less meaningful for those who do not or cannot have children. Precedent protects the right of a married couple not to procreate, so the right to marry cannot be conditioned on the capacity or commitment to procreate."

Each of the four conservative justices wrote their own dissent but Justice Antonin Scalia's is the most blistering.
1."The Supreme Court of the United States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie."

2."I write separately to call attention to this Court's threat to American democracy."

3."The substance of today's decree is not of immense personal importance to me ... It is of overwhelming importance, however, who it is that rules me. Today's decree says that my Ruler, and the Ruler of 320 million Americans coast-to-coast, is a majority of the nine lawyers on the Supreme Court."

4."Until the courts put a stop to it, public debate over same-sex marriage displayed American democracy at its best. The five Justices who compose today's majority are entirely comfortable concluding that every State violated the Constitution for all of the 135 years between the Fourteenth Amendment's ratification and Massachusetts' permitting of same-sex marriages in 2003.” 

5."Who ever thought that intimacy and spirituality [whatever that means] were freedoms? And if intimacy is, one would think Freedom of Intimacy is abridged rather than expanded by marriage. Ask the nearest hippie. Expression, sure enough, is a freedom, but anyone in a long-lasting marriage will attest that that happy state constricts, rather than expands, what one can prudently say." 


We will have a debate. 
Debate Question: Should Taiwan legalize same sex marriage? 
( I guess most of our members support same sex marriage, so 徵求當反對方的參與者!!!) 

********************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期：列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間：當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期二聚會地點：丹堤濟南店
地址、電話：台北市濟南路三段25號 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站：板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法：出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後，沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘，到了濟南路口，左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費： 80 元


注意事項：
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌，但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章，並仔細想過所有的問題，謝謝合作！

給新朋友的話：
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹；會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題，並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行，參加者應具備中等英語會話能力，對任一討論問題，能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前，可以先來觀摩三次，觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。

Read More